My name is Friday. I wear a badge.

A few things...

• I tried to wear eye makeup today for the first time in months (I'm a makeup junkie, so it's hard to go for a long time without it). And just like 3 months ago, my eyes watered it off in 1 1/2 hrs. I look like a battered wife who's been crying.
• The company that makes my contact lens solution had a factory fire in Duluth, GA, and production of it has been indefinitely halted. I was threatened within an inch of my life to use this stuff (rather than the plebian no-rub solution Opti-Free) to clean my contacts, so we'll see what the eye doctor has to say when i go in for my check-up in 2 weeks, hee hee. Clear Care has always been a pain b/c you have to leave your lenses in it for at least 6 hrs at a time so the peroxide can dissipate, or whatever. I was much happier with Opti-Free back in the day...
• Tom Waits was fantastic - both shows were. He's still funny and cantankerous and brilliant. I was not expecting to hear "What's He Building," "Shore Leave," or "Cemetery Polka" - all favorite Tom Waits songs of mine. At one point in Nashville at the Ryman, a dude yelled out "I love you, Tom!" He snarled back, "You're boring me." Awesome. He makes living on the fringe seem a lot less stressful, cold, and unsanitary than it probably is.
• Jack Webb is my hero. In the past few days, I have moved from "Dragnet enthusiast" to "Dragnet obsessive." Dragnet 1967, to be specific. There would never have been a Law and Order franchise without Dragnet. My favorite episode right now is the one where they meet Blue Boy, the acid dealer. All in one episode, they find out what acid is (Jack Webb tells you in voice-over narration that it's called "the ticket" and dealers are called "travel agents" - it's hilarious), the drug becomes illegal, and they arrest a lot of teenagers at a party trying to climb the walls and eat paint. Their search for Blue Boy comes to an end when they find him dead in his apartment. His zoned-out friend goes, "He's been like that all day. He just wanted to get further out." Sgt. Friday gravely replies, "Well he got there, all right. He got there." Desperate Housewives is for assholes - this is truly classic television.
• With a completely straight face, the weather man said last night that we're going to have a break from the heat wave. Instead of feeling like it's 105 every day, it will feel 99 or so. Thanks, guy. You're awesome. Now we can have picnics in the park. In the 99 DEGREE park.
• I hope it's ok to remove a skintab yourself, b/c I did just that this morning. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, which, I think, is a good sign.
• A recent ulcer diagnosis has forced me to reduce my caffeine intake, but I broke down and had a cup of coffee this morning. I'm weak - I know. It was SO worth it, though. It tasted delicious and sexy. The past few mornings have been rough without it - I'd reached the point at which I might French-kiss a stranger for the residual coffee taste on their breath. Maybe I shouldn't let that one get around...
• Note to self: when trying on lowish-cut shirts from now on, sit down in the dressing room to see where it falls in terms of cleavage. What looked sassy and cute in the mirror this morning (from a standing position) now makes me look like Slutly McSlutsky sitting down.

That is all.