A Tiny Sip of Absinthe

...but the Pavement Always Stayed Beneath My Feet Before

2007-11-01T22:14:00.000-05:00

Fall is finally here! I took this picture on my walk home from work today - I could not resist. The world is beautiful right now. At long last, I'm getting used to using my camera. What it is teaching me is that I don't know anything about cameras or photography. My mom, who has been a photography freak since the early 70's, has been waiting for this moment for years - I am actually taking an interest in her favorite lifelong hobby. I picked out a Chinon from the 80's from her collection to practice on. It came with a wide-angle lens that I am truly excited about trying out, and it has an automatic winder that makes it feel SO GOOD to hold in my hand.
This, of course, is in addition to my newly-budding knitting hobby. And the jewelry. And the writing, which I've put off for way too long. And my insatiable appetite for books which does not seem to be diminishing as the years go by.
I have been kind of a busy girl lately, but since the busy-ness has been caused by work and hobbies, there isn't really much to tell. I'm reading Cynthia Ozick's The Puttermesser Papers, and I'm savoring this one. I can't quite tell yet if I like it or not. It's certainly well-written, it's interesting, it's kind of funny... just... bizarre. If Haruki Murakami, Philip Roth, and Paul Auster got together to write a book, it might come out something like this. It's about a pencil-pushing New York City bureaucrat who accidentally brings a golem to life who gets her elected mayor. The book is surreal and strange and nightmarish, but not in a bad way; it takes a lot for a book or film to get under my skin, and this one definitely is. It makes me vaguely uncomfortable... I can't put my finger on why.
Feist's previous album Let It Die will not leave my iPod, my car or my head. I listen to this song several times a day:

Untitled (or, a Really Pretentious Title)

2007-10-01T22:36:00.000-05:00

Let go of your ego.
Sometimes it is not about you.

The more that I've said this to myself lately, the happier I've become.
I took one semester of theater in high school, and ran screaming. I hate drama so hard.

NYU Library

2007-09-26T10:13:00.001-05:00

Before I Collapse Into Bed...

2007-09-25T23:13:00.000-05:00

Pain.
All the time.
It will not die.
At least not without drugs that are a little too strong for around-the-clock-use.
My books, my knitting, Netflix and new music have kept me sane for the past 3 weeks. In that 3 week time, I haven't left my house for anything other than work, a visit with my family or a quiet dinner out. I can't lie, though - they have been nice dinners.
Everyone has been so sweet to me and so patient with me since my surgery - my friends are the best. They are more than the best - they are special. The world is teaming with people who aren't special at all. People who have no interest in others, people who live their lives with the philosophy of "what can you give me for free?", people who are not kind, people who don't get it. Do you understand what I mean by "get it?" Those people who truly get it know that nothing is better in this lifetime of ours than a great book, a big laugh, the perfect pair of shoes or a dinner with 2 or more OTHER people who get it.
If you know people who get it, do not treat them carelessly. They are incredibly hard to find.

Astor Place

2007-09-14T21:04:00.001-05:00

Potent Potables (and Sweat Glands) for $200, Alex

2007-09-13T22:14:00.000-05:00

Do not ever, ever have surgery if you can possibly help it. I've been home for the past week watching crappy cable, staring at the ceiling fan (and if you've seen Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me as many times as I have, you know that this can be truly, horrifically frightening), and being alternately grumpy and whiny. I had 3 sweat glands removed last week, and it's been kind of miserable. Even the pain drugs weren't worth it. Being out of it on pain meds is one thing, but being out of it on pain meds with 2 incisions that STILL HURT just makes you feel sad and loopy.

I'm back at work now, though, and trying to get back into the grind. I had big plans to have lots of friends over last weekend to console me through my misery, but I was not in any shape to leave the bed, really. This weekend is going to continue to be one of R & R. I am normally a pretty active, busy person, but right now the thought of getting in my car and driving to the grocery store makes me wince.
This book helped me through the pain and misery. It's not rocket science or high literature, but this guy made me laugh my ass off. You can't go wrong with a title like How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, and Musical Theater. It's about a high school drama geek who wants to go to Julliard, but his father won't pay for it. The book was totally engaging and original, and after reading it, I did a little research and found that it's become huge among teen readers. Anyway, I'd highly recommend it. I also learned something crucial that I wish I'd known in high school: if you're 17 and want to buy beer, wear a nun's suit. Store clerks will never card a nun. The gang in the book keep a nun's habit and a priest's suit handy at all times.
Let's see, what else? OH, I went to NEW YORK over Labor Day. Saw good friends, saw the city, ate some amazing food, bought an amazing coat... couldn't have been better. I will post pictures directly.
The cool weather has been good for my soul. It's supposed to be 78 and rainy tomorrow, and I couldn't be happier about it. I will happily wear jeans and a jacket for the first time in way too long. Like I always do at the end of August, I was starting to think that it would never get cool again.
More later...

The Emperor's Children

2007-08-16T20:55:00.000-05:00

Claire Messud is brilliant. Read her book. It does my heart good to see a writer making money who is talented and deserves it. Or maybe it just does my heart good to see a writer making money at all. She gets people, I think. And she genuinely likes them - even the spoiled, self-absorbed ones. I wish I hadn't finished it now. The Emperor's Children is one of the best books I've read in a long time.

On the opposite side of the coin, I'm stoked about the new show Gossip Girl. I read the first couple of books in that series on an airplane, and it was like eating blue cotton candy (which seems faker than the pink, somehow, you know?). It was syrupy sweet, and dissolved just as I thought I'd gotten a taste of something real. It looks like a modernized 90210, but the people are hotter, younger (that one won't be hard, though - Gabrielle looked like she should be picking up her own kids from school), and don't wear those gross tapestry vests over a big white pirate shirt and pleated black pants. And no one seems to have crunchy perms or visible black roots.
I didn't have a crunchy perm. My hair already kind of did one on its own, but frizzier. Those were the early 90's, before I discovered fast straightening methods, Aveda, and Bed Head Manipulator. We should all be granted a general amnesty and be forgiven for the things we wore / liked / thought looked good in the early 90's. Let's include the late 80's while we're at it. The "crimping" craze in 5th grade got really, really ugly. I had a pair of red Guess? jean shorts with a matching jacket that, looking back, were so hideously ugly that they should've been burned.
But let's not dwell on that ugliness. Let's all say a collective prayer to whatever deity we worship or entity we almost believe in that we live in the days of Proactiv Solution, ionic blow-dryers, shoulder pad-free jackets, open-toed flats, and wrap dresses that flatter almost everyone. Oh, and Free People. And Vincent Longo lip gloss. Amen.

Somebody Help Us

2007-08-15T23:24:00.000-05:00

I tried to go outside and take pictures with my new camera, but it was too hot (it's 11:30pm, btw).
It is too hot to walk.
It is too hot to sleep.
It is too hot to live.
This is the kind of hot where people start doing crazy things because their brains are melting. Astronauts put on diapers and drive hundreds of miles to kidnap people. Actually, I can't make that claim. Didn't she do that in, like, February?
But the POINT is... it's so hot that I honestly don't think I'm going to be cool ever again. I'm pretty sure I say that every year, too.
How do people out west do it?
How do Iraqis do it?
Because they all have it way worse than I do.
I have decided that it is also too hot to post.
That is all.

A Short, Short List

2007-07-17T20:28:00.000-05:00

My current diversions:

Black Devil Disco Club

If dance clubs were still any good, they'd play this shit all night long. It's sleazy and fun and sublime. It's like listening to the Dr. Who theme, remade by Peaches, produced by Giorgio Morodor.

2005 Best American NonRequired Reading

Great, great short stories, picked by Dave Eggers (whose writing I'm not such a fan of, but his company McSweeney's is brilliant). I love my book clubs, but I'm taking August to just do some reading of my own. Expect more book reviews in the near future...

Greek

A guilty pleasure if there ever was one. I've been watching this for a cpl of weeks now after downloading the pilot for free on iTunes. I am still in shock that it's on ABC Family - it's got lots of underage drinking and sex. Not a bad portrayal of the Greek system at large state universities. There are, of course, stereotypes, but the main characters really challenge you to pigeonhole them into categories. I'll watch it until it gets sucky (most non-HBO cable shows tend to start sucking right around Season 3).

And...that is all.

Addiction

2007-07-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

You've got a little crazy on your face:

And Speaking of Charm...

2007-07-05T23:22:00.000-05:00

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2007/01/10/keillor/

and...

Coin Tout Bleu (A Corner of Blue)

2007-07-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I posted something other than a rocking re-enactment of a Bel Biv Devoe song. Truthfully,though, it's been a quiet month. The most fun part about it was, of course, my birthday, on which I officially turned 30. I went to dinner with a small but amazing group of friends, who, I was thrilled to see, all got along like gangbusters. Amy made me the best chocolate cake I've ever put inside of my mouth. It physically hurt to throw out the last, sad little dried-out chunk that I just couldn't eat. The birthday eating just never seemed to stop... hence the 3lbs that have planted themselves firmly in spots that weren't quite prepared for it.
So, for the time being, it's back to the gym and living kind of... Spartanly. Spartanesque. Whatever - Firefox spell check hates both. Although tonight I don't feel very Spartan. I used the last bit of my Lush peach bath melt, and a good-sized portion of my Mask of Magnaminty. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't one of the best baths I've ever taken.
Bathing is an art, and I take it very seriously.
While I was in the bathtub, I was listening to my iTunes playlist "J'adore la France." It got me thinking about the French, and about people who really have charm, elegance, and style (Edith Piaf is in this mix). And it wasn't the first time. I've thought about charm a lot over the last few months. Whatever happened to charm? It all started when I payed money to see a local band play in November. The lead singer set up, and proceeded to tell the audience, almost angrily, "Ok, so I've had a really bad day, and we haven't practiced in, like 6 months, so... yeah. Whatever." Way to charm your audience, sweetie.
So few people are genuinely charming anymore. I'm talking about those people who are witty, graceful, and have an air of elegance about them. When I think of charm, I think of Peter Jennings. He was brilliant, and made being brilliant seem so easy - he had this casual urbane quality that I've never seen duplicated. Maria Callas wasn't necessarily one of the most beautiful women who ever lived, but she had a look. She had such presence and talent and wit. Coco Chanel. Audrey Tatou. Gene Kelly. George Clooney. Stanley Tucci. Eartha Kitt. David Byrne. Some of them are/were inherently gorgeous, and some... not so much. But they all have IT.
I mean, whatever happened to dressing for an occasion? Looking people in the eye when you speak and shaking hands firmly? Paying compliments? Writing thank-you notes? I went to the wedding of a relative last month, and a female guest wore a strapless, floor-length... WHITE GOWN. She actually wore white to someone else's wedding. I thought these were rules that everyone knows, but every episode of What Not to Wear that I've seen should have told me differently.
People nowadays seem to labor under the illusion that doing the above-mentioned things makes you false, somehow. I guess I just don't buy it. I don't go to every occasion in a sequin gown (don't own one), and I'm sure there are days when I could have put on a little more eye makeup for work (read: any). But when people show up to weddings in what was obviously their own wedding gown, it makes me a little sad.
You greet a child you've just been introduced to these days, and they turn their head away and don't acknowledge you because they're "shy." As a child, I was not allowed to be shy. I was told to speak clearly and answer questions when speaking to adults. Not encouraging children to develop socially doesn't do them any favors.
And for the love of the baby Jesus H. Christ, how the hell hard is it to remember to WEAR UNDERWEAR when you know people are going to take your effing picture? That is tacky and gross and makes me think that the person who doesn't has some form of mild developmental disability.
Charm is not hard, people. I can think of many charming people who I know personally, and I am lucky enough to say that they are among my closest friends. They are mostly quietly charming, which is the best, and most humble kind of charm. I love people who are funny, quirky, and gently self-effacing.

I'm Sorry, But I Had To...

2007-06-06T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'll keep you updated... if Turk were to air band "Do Me," and I didn't post it, I'd feel as though I betrayed you in some way.
I will never betray you.

How Many Spidermen?

2007-06-02T23:51:00.001-05:00

This aired on Letterman last month, but as usual I'm a day late and a dollar short. I think it encompasses everything I love about David Letterman, and have loved since junior high. This, and the fact that he was so openly bitter about giving up coffee after his quintuple bypass surgery a few years ago. He took his first sip of decaf coffee on the air and proclaimed, "Well, that's just useless crap."
David Letterman is one of those guys who you know in your day to day life, and make you laugh like no one else, but never get any recognition or attention because they're chemical engineers or shipping/receiving managers. Dave just happened to be the one guy who got the credit he deserves. Anyway, on with the show. It's a little long, but worth it.

Pocket Symphony

2007-05-29T19:42:00.000-05:00

I sold 2 necklaces last night, and the "real" sale isn't even until late June!! I love friends of friends. Now I will have to make a few more things to make up for what I've sold, plus replenish my supply. I go for months on end thinking that my hobby feels more like a chore and that no one cares that I do it anyway, and then within 2 weeks, I sell 6 necklaces.

Nice.
Maybe all this bodes well for my sales.
Here are a few records I've been listening to lately.
You know.
In case you were wondering.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you don't love Air as much as I do.

A Brief Update

2007-05-26T23:06:00.000-05:00

This 3-day weekend is feeling pretty great after a crazy work week. Not bad - just crazy. My back pain seems to be completely gone, but I don't quite believe it yet. It's been happening off and on since February, so it's hard for me to trust.
I am slowly, slowly, slowly discovering that cable t.v. isn't always from Satan. I'm finding a few shows that don't involve spoiled, shallow, uneducated 24-year-olds talking about sex, or having it. Mythbusters (a show that I'm apparently the last person I know to find) is so awesomely nerdy - I love it. As I'm sure you know, it's stunt people performing science experiments for a whole hour on t.v.!!! People will watch science shows when promised explosions and "truths" revealed, I guess. I'm also succumbing to the allure of H&G TV and What Not to Wear. I could write entire books on What Not to Wear. But I won't. I love it, though. Much like Sex and the City a few years ago, I had a preconceived notion that What Not to Wear was going to be mean-spirited, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was wrong. About them both. And while I'm pretty sure that WNtW will not be the cultural phenomenon that SatC was (seriously, everything goes back to a SatC episode), it's just... diverting.
And speaking of great t.v., I'll leave you with one of my all-time favorite scenes from any show:

The Trials of Van Occupanther

2007-05-20T22:17:00.000-05:00

I'm probably about 6 months behind the times, but there is a record I can't get enough of: Midlake's The Trials of Van Occupanther. I have a deep and abiding love of America and other 70's bands of that ilk, and this record reminds me so much of that (seriously, if you've gone for hours with "Horse With No Name" stuck in your head, and it didn't bother you, this record is for you). I haven't even started listening to the other stuff I downloaded from eMusic this month because of this album. It's warm and understanding and full of longing. His voice sounds VERY similar to Rufus Wainright's, but he uses it differently. Midlake is more reigned in.

Life marches on. I'm reading, madly making jewelry for a sale next month, listening to great tunes... I can't complain. The Art Stroll this past week was wonderful. Perfect weather, nice people around the square, 2 beers on the Humphrey's patio with ex-coworkers (we shared stories from what may be our 'Nam and talked about "life on the outside"). It was also fantastic to stroll around casually without being stuck behind a table selling things, as I probably will be in June. I'm hoping to make enough to get a Bose Sound Dock. We'll see.

I'm going to read in bed for a while before officially waving good-bye to my weekend. I'll have to say, though, it's really nice not dreading Monday. After 6 months, I'm still not completely used to that.

This One is Kind of Dark...

2007-05-20T20:56:00.000-05:00

To Relieve This Flipper Ache...

2007-05-16T17:53:00.000-05:00

Shoes...OMG...Shoes

2007-05-05T22:47:00.000-05:00

My boss would be so proud of me.
Why, you ask? For putting in that extra time at work this week? For helping out with extra projects around the office when my help is needed?
No. Absolutely not.
My boss, the person I know with more shoes than any 4 women could wear in a lifetime, would be proud of me because I got THREE PAIRS OF OMG UBER-CUTE SHOES today!
But Absinthe, you wisely protest, I thought I read not a week ago that you're trying to save money and pay bills.
You'd be right. But these shoes were CHEAP and I really needed dressy shoes. Seriously...I did. Even as we speak, my brain is organizing whole new outfits around these shoes. Every now and then I get a blinding, brilliant vision of a new skirt/top combination with my red (RED) open-toe heels. Does the thought of whole new outfits in your wardrobe ever make you breathe a little heavier and your heart skip a beat?
Um...me neither.
Ahem.
Oh, and did you hear? Herpes Hilton is going to the slam!!! I could gloat, or maybe laugh. But I won't. The Fug Girls did it way better and more effectively than I ever could, so check it.
Let's see...what else? Bjork's Volta drops this Tuesday. And apparently I am the last person on earth who wants it to actually get it. I suppose I'll have to make a trek to Best Buy or click "Add to Cart" on Amazon along with the rest of the common rabble in order to obtain a copy. I'm ok with this - I'm not proud when it comes to Bjork. Check out her suit on the cover. I've come to the conclusion that Bjork does, indeed, inhabit the same planet as the rest of us. Just a slightly different dimension. A dimension in which teeny tiny ladies can totally go apeshit on reporters, wear dresses that cover entire Olympic stadiums, and play in the sweetest Icelandic band of all time - I don't care what Sigur Ros fans say.

5:55

2007-04-29T22:29:00.000-05:00

iTunes now has Charlotte Gainsbourg's 5:55 (with BONUS TRACKS) available for download. I've been listening to it for a month, and I'm in love - buy it. Believe it. Live it.
But only if you want to.
Reason # 7,433 that I love the internet: this. And this. And this.
Ever since reading an excerpt in early college, I've looked for a copy of the complete Pepys' Diaries that cost less than $200.00. Never did. But now the internet is doing it for me - for free! In a blog! And it will only take around 8 years to complete! Seriously, though, I can't complain. I can read a couple of blog entries a day, but making it through a multiple-volume set of diaries by a mid-1600's Englishman seems kind of difficult. It would probably take me 8 years to get through, anyway.
One more thing... in case anyone out there was wondering, saving money is hard. I have made a resolution of sorts to stop buying crap, pay a few bills, and maybe save to do the traveling I'm always dreaming about. But it's not easy. In the past few years, I haven't exactly thought of myself as a spendthrift, but come on... there are Flaming Lips albums to buy, and a Diana Vreeland autobiography I've wanted to order. This is going to take strength, I can tell. I need a snack. I think I'll tear into that tangerine I've been thinking about all day, then go to bed.

Addendum

2007-04-21T19:51:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I mistakenly attributed the modern classic "OHH You Touch My Tra-la-la" to Royskopp. The real artist is apparently Gunther. To whomever might have been hurt by this, please accept my heartfelt apology.

A list. Because I love lists.

2007-04-21T11:43:00.000-05:00

In the house next door to mine, a kid is having a drum lesson. On a full drum kit. I know this because it is making my brain throb, ever so gently. I realize that future Ringo or Charlie or whoever needs practice (a LOT, by the way), but damn. It's Saturday morning. Why can't they be like the kid in Love Actually and teach her/himself in her/his own bedroom in, like, a week to drum effortlessly? Of course, If I hadn't thrown back those 3 drinks in 20 minutes last night, my brain might not be hurting at all, so this entire rant could be moot.
"Moot" is a weird word. The most famous use of it is in Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl," when he says "...I want to tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot." It sounds like something they'd say in 1941, like the words "chippie," "moxy," and "broad."
CalamityRose and I have an idea to pitch to Guthy-Reinker, or whoever sells those music compilations on late-night tv. It's going to be called "Crappy Hilarious Gay Techno Anthems." Due to a misguided wave of Tone Loc nostalgia and a well-meaning cousin who had a subscription to Entertainment Weekly in 1998, I own copies of both "Maximum Dance" (yes, both volumes) and "Hot Dance Mix." These have a few of the afore-mentioned anthems we want to include on our compilation. Mostly, though, I want these songs on it: "OHH You Touch My Tra-la-la" by Royskopp, "What is Love" by Haddaway, "You Better Work" by RuPaul, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua, and "Blue" by...crap, I forgot. As the creator of the compilation, I cannot be bothered by such trifles as artists of the songs. I am open to other suggestions.
I LOVE SATURDAY. The only immediate plans I have for today involve a quilt, pillow, couch, and Ocean's 11. I will probably be asleep in the first 10 minutes.
That is all.

Tea and Sympathy

2007-03-22T23:06:00.000-05:00

You get over one thing, and you think you can sit back and cruise for a while - just a while - and then life dumps other things on you. For no reason. Except maybe to see the expression on your face.

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic here. Everyone gets sick, right? Everyone loses someone special to them every now and then, right? No one really has it that much worse than anyone else when you think about it.
Skipping town was a good idea. Old friends are always a good idea, even when you feel broken and comatose. I don't know if it was the good company or the retail therapy or the sweet new tunes, or all 3, but I came home feeling a little better than shitty. Which is how I felt when I left.
I'm so ready to not think about any of it anymore, but I can't not. I can't not think about how he never really laughed out loud - he laughed silently, and had this huge, amazing smile, and you could tell when he was amused. I can't not think about him patiently teaching me to ride a skateboard when I was 7. Or us cheating his little brother at cards. Or watching The Wizard of Oz every year at Granny and Papa's (and holding his hand at their funeral and him telling me, "I never thought it would be like this - burying them on the same day." and sadly joking about double funerals periodically for the next 2 years). Or baking in the sun at baseball games drinking beers. Or me staggering around drunk one night when we were hanging out, and him steadying me and whispering "You're so great, I'm so glad we're friends," because he thought I wouldn't remember the next day. But I did remember. I remember Castle Grayskull. Rock-em, Sock-em Robots. Him making fun, understandably, of She-Ra, Princess of Power.
Maybe I will be able to not think about all that and a million other things one day. But not today. Or tomorrow. All I know is, this week has been easier than last week. And maybe next week will be easier than this one. I've gotten cards from the most unlikely of people, and my amazing work crew comforted me with tea. Even given everything that's happened, I am still a lucky, lucky girl.

Countdown to the Apocalypse

2007-02-28T23:39:00.000-06:00

Despite my Southern Baptist upbringing, I've never been one to believe much in the rapture and the tribulation, but given recent events, I can't help but conclude that Armageddon is nigh. By my count, we've merrily waved as 2 Horsemen of the Apocalypse have galloped by. Shall we count them down together?

Horseman #1: Arnold Schwarzenegger's election as governor of California

Horseman #2: the Police tour that is to take place this summer

If 2 more horseman go by, we're toast. Here's the plan: you guys keep an eye on the Doomsday Clock, and I'll watch Cher, the Spice Girls, Bono and William Shatner like a hawk. One of them is bound to do something to set off nuclear holocaust if left unchecked - especially the Priceline Negotiator.

And We Don't Care About the Young Folks

2007-02-07T21:33:00.000-06:00

Strong muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory drugs do odd things to the appetite...and the desire to get off my pasty ass and do anything...and maybe it was the mood I was already in, but I've had a strange propensity for listening to the Concretes' second record all day today.
Which reminds me, I need to get the album Writer's Block by Peter, Bjorn, and John with that song "Young Folks" on it (the Concretes girl, who I believe just quit the Concretes, sings on it). That was my favorite song of '06, I think. It was kind of comforting when I was semi-unemployed and down.
Here's the link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48hcp-zDpg4
Fun. Mod. Cute.
That song gets stuck in my head for DAYS, and I never mind.
Speaking of mod, check out the hoodie I just ordered:
http://www.modcloth.com/Secret+Garden+Hoodie
It's the blue one. I needed a pre-Spring happy, and I found it.
That is all, I think.

One of Our Submarines (is Missing...Tonight)

2007-02-05T21:06:00.000-06:00

A recent post by a certain Inconnu has me all 80's music nostalgic now. Nothing is better for the soul than really good 80's music - I don't care what Deepak effing Chopra says. A few recent iTunes gems:
One of Our Submarines - Thomas Dolby
Erotic City - Prince
Forever Young - Alphaville
Do Me! - Bel Biv Devoe (Poison shortly to follow)
I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross (seriously, did people get it? I was too young to remember)
And the Beat Goes On - The Whispers
Eye in the Sky - Alan Parsons Project
Sigh. iTunes' selection isn't half bad. I've purchased a lot of 70's and 90's music, too, but nothing gives me that warm feeling like 80's music. It's like my Dad and the 50's, I guess - he heard that stuff as a kid, and he hates it that no local station plays 50's stuff anymore (I LOVE "The River," but they've eliminated 50's songs from their rotation). One of the first songs I bought from iTunes was Come Go With Me by the Del Vikings b/c I remember my Dad always playing that when I was little - he'd sing along to it and you could see him smile and go to another place. I should get him one of those 50's and 60's compilations they sell on 3-hour-long infomercials, but I think it would drive my Mom batshit crazy.
At the moment, I'm having some really frustrating back problems. I was hoping it would clear up in a cpl of days, but now it's all coming back to me. When this happens (and it hasn't in 10 YEARS), I have to dope up on muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories, and alternate a hot, damp heating pad for about a week. I probably shouldn't be up typing this, but when you've been bored silly stacking pills, trying to come up with playlists in your head that encompass all the songs you have that are about or imply suicide (all I could come up with were Head Over Heels, Mad World, and Alone Again, Naturally), and listening to all the books on cd you own, things get a little...bleak.
I can't read from a flat-on-my-back position. It's probably just as well, because I'm living and breathing Fortsytes. I'm on the third novel from The Forsyte Saga, and it's kind of winding down. The first novel A Man of Property was the best by far. But I tend to get a little too into it - I get Forsytes in my head for days on end, and I think it makes me brood, so I'm only reading the novels on the weekends.
I'm reading another book about the British upper class system and art scene, but this one's a little different... it's Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins - Rupert Everett's autobiography. He's...different than I imagined him. In a good way. He's writing from the perspective of a middle-aged man looking back on his drug-fueled, glamorous, narcissistic youth, and he's pretty self-effacing about it. It keeps the book from being annoying and snotty. It's also deliciously bitchy, and surprisingly matter-of-fact, which I like. Not terribly scandalous, either, but then, I haven't gotten to his Hollywood Years yet. So far, he's had an affair with Ian McKellan, and has lots of flings and orgies with fellow cast-members from the London theatre scene of the 80's. Kind of what you'd expect from Rupert Everett.
I should probably get back to my drugs and heating pad...it's starting to hurt already.
Random quote I read on someone's car today: "Those who would sacrifice freedom for temporary security deserve neither." Ben Franklin

Thank You for the Music

2007-01-27T23:36:00.000-06:00

I decided to pay a visit to my friendly local independent record store the other day on my lunch, remembering that it was time for the annual sale. Outside, there was a sign up saying that the shop was closing. Forever.
I had a lump in my throat for the rest of the day.
Don't get me wrong - I cherish good memories, but in general, I'm not exactly a nostalgic person. But THIS STORE. CLOSING. It's one of those places that you just assume will always be there, like the gas station or your hair salon.
I hung out at this store in high school with skater kids on the weekends. I bought Kate Bush b-sides and issues of Creem Magazine. And Volume Magazine - that UK music magazine from the early 90's. Talking to the guy who worked there about Japan and That Dog and old episodes of Dragnet. Without meaning to, I'd usually end up spending all the money I made at my crappy college job.
And cassette tapes. Oh my GOD, the cassette tapes.
That Petrol Emotion.
The The.
Saint Etienne.
Tricky.
the Sugarcubes.
Killing time between classes in my freshman year of college, shuffling through the CD's with my matte sky-blue painted fingernails for whatever techno album had just been released. Before the internet, that store was my lifeline to any kind of good music, because you for damned sure weren't going to find it at the mall at Camelot.
I shopped there for 16 years.
Thanks for the memories, for the music, for the free CD's and posters, for selling our high school underground 'zine when no one else would, for the Kate Bush t-shirt, for that time in the store when at least 10 total strangers bonded while singing along to "Funky President" by James Brown in 1995, for the Andre the Giant Has a Posse stickers, for the killer discounts, for making us realize that THEY were the weird ones - not us, and for the sum total hours of entertainment playing with the magic 8-ball and Dr. Evil action figure while my friends were still shopping.
I'll miss you.

6 Weird Things About Me

2007-01-15T11:16:00.000-06:00

At the bidding of Trouble (and I think we all know what happens when you don't do Trouble's bidding), I am posting 6 weird things about myself. My response: only 6? And it goes a little something like this:

I despise squirrels. Hate them. They're foul. They dig up the yard, and carry disease. I actually have an aversion to all rodents, but most people don't think this extends to squirrels. It does.
I hate pickles and olives. Most ppl who have eaten at any sort of restaurant with me know this. I won't eat any sort of pickle or any sort of olive EXCEPT Kalamata paste. On special occasions.
When I was a kid, I would always have a favorite song that I called "The Most Beautiful Song in the World." It changed periodically. I mostly remember loving "Time" by Culture Club and "Message in a Bottle" by the Police.
I honestly didn't believe the Leaning Tower of Pisa actually leaned until I saw it in person. It does.
At the age of 11, I sprained my ankle by jumping off the roof of my neighbors' house. It was one story, plus an attic, but still.
I have something bordering on a genuine fetish for office supplies. I don't keep many around the house; we got Staples in our town a cpl of years ago, and I've only been there once (we have other chains, btw). You have no idea how much discipline this requires.

So there you have it - a little oddness without any Twin Peaks personality quirks. When I start wearing an eye patch and blogging endlessly about silent drape-runners, ppl can start to worry.

Uh. Mah. Gaw.

2006-12-21T16:42:00.001-06:00

It's unheard of for me to post twice in one day, but I had to share this gem. I found Idolator a cpl of weeks ago (it's a music/music industry website by Gawker Media), and I've kept up with it daily. Today, they post this:

http://www.idolator.com/tunes/mp3/all-we-know-is-this-her-name-was-probably-sheila-and-somebody-wanted-to-sex-her-up-223319.php

Except for the Color Me Bad, I could have made this tape in the 8th grade - way after the heyday of Falco. That was a confession, for those not paying attention. In the early 90's, before the days of 80's nostalgia, I, Absinthe, listened to Falco. But before you judge, ask yourself this: if I were to rifle through your old cassette tape shoeboxes, would I find Great White? White Lion? WINGER? MR. BIG??? OK, then.

Ahem. Sorry. That got ugly. It was, indeed, unlady-like of me to mention your Great White tape - the one you tried to be cool and tape over with Leonard Cohen in the 10th grade, but it didn't really work, so when you listened to it, you heard "I'm Your Man" with just a tinge of "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" in the background (this actually happened to a girl I knew). All I'm saying is, own it.

Dinah, The Christmas Whore

2006-12-21T09:46:00.000-06:00

I'd forgotten what it was like to work in an environment where the people give 2 craps about me, or that I even exist, and I'm here to tell you: it's nice. My new job is with the same company I contracted for, and I love it so far. Also, in case anyone is confused: I DO NOT MISS WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT.

Having a high-speed internet connection at home is still a little new to me, but I'm having too much fun with it already. Podcasts from my favorite news and entertainment sources? Check. Subscription to eMusic? Check. Purchase of music video to Blondie's "Rapture" from iTunes? Check. Daily viewings of countless favorite old SNL sketched from YouTube? Check (and word to the wise: if you haven't seen Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake on "The Barry Gibb Show" sketch, it's GOLD).

Cable TV and I have not become quite so chummy. I have watched 2 things on cable so far, and they both aired on Bravo: the Madonna concert 3 wks ago, and "Back to the Future" last night. Now all day, I've been dying to tell someone that they're my "density." I've tried watching a cpl of those "100 Greatest Celebrity Assholes" shows on VH-1 and E!, and in theory, I should love them, given my pop cultural proclivities and all. But they always turn out to be talentless, humorless people explaining why each thing on the countdown is funny. Or shocking. Or outrageous.

Oh, and I've watched a few episodes of "Benson."

I dug out my favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" (the George C. Scott one) on VHS last night, and realized with horror that I've been the worst Scrooge ever this season. I've pretty much growled and gnashed my teeth about Christmas since October, and now that I'm ready to actually celebrate, it's almost over. In my defense, though, I'll say that the temp. has been in the 60's for the past 2 weeks, so it hasn't exactly felt like winter. Also, working retail a few years ago right at Thanksgiving and Christmas ruined the holidays for me entirely, and I'm still recovering. Maybe next year, I'll be ready to don the ugly snowflake sweater with pride and happily start my shopping in July.

I have zero vacation days accrued, so Ill be working through most of the holidays; it's cool, though. I just had 2 months off from full-time work when the weather was perfect, and all kinds of fall things were going on. I remember taking around 4 days off last year around Christmas, and being profoundly bored. Taking off more than 1 day of work when you have no real plans can be a mistake...

In honor of the holidays, I'm going to crack out on the "Santaland Diaries" for a while - I saw the play a cpl of weeks ago, and I downloaded the audio of David Sedaris reading it on This American Life from iTunes. Maybe I'll get really warm and fuzzy and pull out "Dinah, The Christmas Whore" if i can remember which collection that one appears in.

Here's hoping everyone in the blogosphere has wonderful holidays!

Formica Blues

2006-11-28T20:23:00.000-06:00

After long, long last, I got myself connected - I now have cable internet at home. It was cheaper to get cable tv, too (although they got a hefty installation fee for that out of me, so was it really cheaper? in the long run, maybe...), which is weird to have after 4 years without cable. I watched the Daily Show and the Colbert Report last night, and it was like I was at someone else's house - not mine. It's nice to have, I guess...

I missed iTunes. Hard. The past 24 hrs has been spent (off and on) loading music onto it. iTunes reminded me how much i missed this. And this. And this. iTunes brings all your music to you - you don't have to remember that you have it. Sometimes it is very difficult for me to remember what music I have.

I'm reading a big ol' pile of books right now - too varied and numerous to name here, I think. 2 are for book clubs, and the rest for my own personal pleasure. I meant to overhaul my apartment before starting work on Friday, but that is probably not going to happen. I'm spending the week going to gym classes I want to attend, reading, taking bubble baths, loading up my iTunes...who has time to clean? I really should, though. And I still have time.

In the immortal words of Ellen DeGeneres: "Procrastinate NOW. Don't put it off until later."

Thanksgiving came, Thanksgiving went. Very quiet and pleasant, as far as Thanksgivings go. The though of putting over 20 people together in one house for a few hours who are not, when you think about it, there by choice, makes me a little nervous; family makes me nervous. But everything went smoothly, so I can't complain.

And speaking of having nothing to complain about, the weather has been perfect this week - I've been trying to spend some time in the sun. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be our last bit of warm weather for a long, long time, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. Even the south has to get cold sometime, although it sometimes feels like it never will.

My treatise on nothing is going to have to end sometime, and it might as well be now. Remember: let's be careful out there.

I Want Candy

2006-11-05T22:08:00.000-06:00

Things I love right now, at this very moment:

The Marie Antoinette soundtrack. Disc 1 is fun, decadent, sumptuous early 80's New Romantic music (the Cure, Bow Wow Wow, Siouxie, etc.); Disc 2 is the slower, more melancholy music Coppola used for the film, like Air, Squarepusher, and Aphex Twin. I love it so much, I even made my own unofficial Disc 3. See me for more details.
The Art Lover by Carole Maso. It's a novel about grief, art, love, being a girl, astronomy, New York...I'm savoring it like The Thin Place. That one was a tough act to follow, so I'm glad I picked this one up at The Strand in New York when I did. It is very stream-of-consciousness without being frustrating. I love writers who have truly mastered language. Mostly because almost none have.
Lipton's new cranberry pomegranate green tea. I'm an admitted tea snob (although I'm hard pressed to find a Lipton product I don't like), so when my mom gave me this, I was dubious. It's wonderful, though.
www.lifehacker.com
Staples composition books. Yeah, yeah, I love my computer, and put most of my life into it, but something keeps me coming back to Staples composition books. They smell good and feel good in the hand. Not to mention the fact that the writer in me still has a close-to-indecent fetish for office supplies.
Jane Austen. It's that time of year again - I read 2 Jane Austen novels every winter. I'm starting out with Mansfield Park this time. After that, I might get really wacky and go for Persuasion. She is the perfect writer.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both...

2006-11-01T16:33:00.000-06:00

If anyone needs me tonight, I'll be home, cracking out on The Facts of Life, Season 3. We all have our low-brow pop culture guilty pleasures (right? I mean, 5 million Diff'rent Strokes fans can't be wrong, can they?), and TFoL is definitely mine. It made me WANT to go to boarding school as a kid. I could talk here for a long, long time about TFoL and how much I love it, but I won't.

You're welcome.

Halloween came, Halloween went. Besides the buffet full of leftover candy at my parents' house that I'm about to literally dive into (no one I know had any trick-or-treaters; how sad a statement is that on parents, children, and Halloween, I ask you?), it didn't make much difference one way or another that Halloween was here at all. I think I'm over it. It's one of those celebratory days that somehow eats its way into your consciousness, and makes you think you HAVE to "go out." It's a huge build-up for an evening that can never really live up to how you saw it in your head beforehand (see also: New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day).

Watching an 80's video countdown at Chez McCarley was way, way more fun than being out.

Ignore me - I've become such a humbug about a lot of things lately (smoky bars, chain restaurants, the behavior of small children, video rental stores, malls, major holidays, the state of modern music, and the list goes on...). I'm not even 30 yet, and I have a sneaking suspicion that my disposition has veered dangerously toward "ornery" in the past couple of years. I cannot be turning into my mother. Not this soon, at least.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

The Thin Place

2006-10-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in my last entry, I just finished a book that I want to shout about from rooftops, but since that would probably get me arrested for disorderly conduct or un-American activity, I thought I'd post about it. The book is The Thin Place by Kathryn Davis, and I savored it for 3 months (rather than greedily devour it, as I do with most books I read). It was delicate, profound, and completely beautiful. I read a review of it in the McSweeney's magazine The Believer, and ordered it sight unseen. It takes place in recent years in the New England town of Varennes, which is a thin place - a place where the walls between superatural and natural, past and present, man and God are transparent. We see this world through the eyes of people, dogs, and sometimes inanimate objects. A young girl named Mees Kipp has the power to raise the dead, and does so fairly often. An elderly woman watches the world from her assisted living facility, only now seeing things she missed for her entire life. She is still of sharp mind and body, and we see first-hand what it must be like to be condescended to on an hourly basis.

The closest works I could compare this novel to are Mrs. Dalloway or The Hours. Rather than take the fantasy element of the story and run with it, Davis keeps everything internal - she is more interested in the underlying psychology of people. To keep the story grounded in some sense of reality, we are shown police records, 19th century diary entries, and things like grocery lists. She reminds me of my favorite author, A.S. Byatt in that she is not always kind in her assessments of her own characters. She is unsentimental and detached, even in regards to her characters who are children, and you rarely see that in novels.

When I went to pick it up from Mr. Shaver (who ordered it for me), he handed it to me, shaking his head, and said, "You really keep me on my toes when it comes to new fiction - where do you even hear about this stuff?" He proceeded to read me part of the inside jacket that talked about Mees' gift not responding to merit or morality - only to need (I'm paraphrasing). I would highly recommend it to anyone who liked the novels I mentioned above. While in New York last month, I found myself at The Strand bookstore (imagine that), so I picked up a copy of an earlier Davis novel called The Girl Who Trod on a Loaf. I read because I have an insatiable craving for fictional narratives that are meaningful to me (and, in a way, we all do - everyone writes a fictional narrative every night; it's called a dream), and this book reminded me of that.

he could make that string hum like it was 1989

2006-10-10T15:55:00.000-05:00

I know. It's been a long, long, long time. But life (specifically, living it), the universe, and everything has kept me out of the blogosphere for a month or so. However, that time wasn't wasted, my friends. I have now seen the face of God, I can wrap both legs around my neck, and all my chakras are aligned.

Kidding.

I've been enjoying having time off, doing work for which I can set my own hours, and slowly morphing into a desperate housewife - it's a slippery, slippery slope, my friends. However, since I'm not a wife, I don't live in a house (not the entire house, at least - just an upstairs apartment), and I'm not particularly desperate, I think I'll come out unscathed. The website work I'm doing right now is fun, creatively challenging (!!!!), and it's a project I believe in.

M. Ward was a fantastic show. We were all a little put off by the "don't even THINK about taking any kind of picture" (not really, but you get what I mean) signs they brought out before Matt came out to play, but he totally won me over. Halfway through the first song he sang, it registered that the amazing, gravelly, sexy, purring voice I'd been listening to for a year was coming out of this tiny little guy with a baseball hat and jew-fro. I had a half-grin on my face for most of the show - it was that good.

Ladytron just plain rocked my face off. They didn't look or sound anything like I thought they would in a live setting. People are often down on electronic music because it isn't very emotional, but Ladytron proved that wrong from the first song. The lead singer (still don't know any of their names) sang her heart out - she was a complete rock star, from her powerful-but-girly voice to her demure black disco librarian dress (I think it was by Chloe). They were also incredibly friendly and personable to the crowd, which I always appreciate. Call me overly-mannered, but when you, as a fan, bend over, pull down your pants, and let Ticketmaster have its way with your ass, it's really nice to hear a musician say, "Thanks for coming out tonight."

Other than that, I've been enjoying the near-perfect weather, reading books (more on my new favorite American author, Kathryn Davis, in the next entry), and looking for full time employment. Oh, and I blew a bunch of money on clothes yesterday, after dragging out my "winter clothes" box and finding it only about 1/3 full. Looking back, I think I wore t-shirts and cardigans all last winter. And, if memory serves, I froze my ass off.

Back to work now...

Deep thought, courtesy of an article title on Gawker.com the other day: "A lawyer who represents himself has a douchebag for a client."

I think I'd like to make a book of classic sayings and idioms revamped for modern times, and incorporate the word "douchebag" into all of them. I'd buy it...

Under the moonlight...the serious moonlight

2006-09-13T09:06:00.000-05:00

The job search continues, and I actually have a few more prospects than when I last wrote. It's official, by the way - as of Sept. 22, I will be free of this bullshit, ridiculous company and all the douchebags (see many, many previous entries) contained therein. My only regret is that it wasn't me telling them goodbye, but maybe being layed off is the sharp, swift kick in the ass I needed to point myself in the right direction.

At least I have fun shows to look forward to! M. Ward is next week at the Belcourt in Nashville, and I've been wanting to see this guy for about a year now. My fantastic friend/neighbor let me burn a copy of his newest CD, but I haven't gotten a chance to listen to it yet. I'm saving it for a time when I have a full hour (or 40 min., or however long they make CD's now) to devote to it. Also, like another fantastic friend, Amy (who's also going to the show - YEAH!), I've kind of burned myself out on his CD's, at least for a little while.

Later next week is Ladytron in Atlanta. Good Lord, I love this band. It's fun, sleazy, synth-soaked pop with a sometimes melancholy, sometimes biting edge. My all-time favorite Ladytron song is "Seventeen," in which a female voice slyly half-whispers, "They only want you when you're seventeen - when you're twenty-one, you're no fun..." repeatedly. I don't think any true child of the 80's can resist amazing synth-pop, and I'm certainly no exception.

Happy hump-day ai'body...

(insert clever blog entry title here)

2006-09-08T09:05:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had a long entry all written out. And let me tell you, it was wise. With the proper study and meditation, its contents might have shown you the face of God. But now it's gone. I tried to publish it, and the computer did something bad. It was one of those slow-motion, raising your arms to the heavens and groaning, "NOOOOOOO" moments.

So...long story short: New York was amazing, and the job situation sucks - sucks meaning: I may not have one soon. And regardless of whether or not I have it, I hate it. It's hard not to be a little glum when you're racing against time to find a new job, but I'm maintaining, I guess. Leaving here will be as much of a relief as it is scary.

There are many things about which I could wax philosophic, such as the death of the Crocodile Hunter, or a recent article that appeared on Forbes.com warning men not to marry career women (seriously), but I won't. At the moment, I lack the time and the inclination. If and when unemployment hits, though, the blogging world should probably take cover.

Over and out.

These little town blues...are melting away...

2006-08-31T15:59:00.000-05:00

I now have a sweet computer system at home; I'm just not "connected" yet. Whoo-hoo!! Haven't had a lot of time lately to do research on the cheapest high(ish)-speed internet connection...and believe me, it WILL be the cheapest. I don't want cable tv (hate tv), and I don't want a landline (no need for one), so I think I'm stuck. I have awful visions of myself rotting in my apartment in front of VH-1's "Celebreality" or Melrose Place reruns on E! (does E! still exist? an industry friend once told me that the worst, most dreaded job in all of television was to work in assistant production for E!... they have a saying that goes, "You can't spell "cheap" without an E!")

In high school and college, I was a tv junkie - I rearranged my entire schedule around the tv. It was sad, and I don't miss it (not that I didn't have fun in high school and college, but I think I would have gotten out and done more interesting things - especially in high school - if I hadn't been addicted to the tv). We pulled the plug on cable in 2002, and never looked back. I wish I could begin to explain how much better my life is since tv has been eliminated from it. I read more, I write more, I see people more, and inadvertently started a small side business making jewelry (I have since thought better of this, but only because I'm too busy with everything else).

I still watch shows on DVD (God bless you, Netflix!!), but I'm so much happier being in control of what I sit down and watch. And when it's over, I don't mindlessly channel-surf - THAT was my biggest mistake with cable.

My decision was validated earlier this year when I found myself at a friend's house watching My Super Sweet 16 on Mtv b/c there was nothing else on. This show made my brain want to implode on itself. It was a reality show about a wealthy suburban girl who'd been snatched from poverty by adoptive parents, throwing herself a massive 16th birthday party. There was much drama as she played her friends off each other, and ended up not inviting her best friend (who wasn't cool enough anymore - the cool girls wanted to hang with her when the Mtv cameras showed up, apparently). She failed her driving test, which meant she WASN'T going to get the brand-new BMW convertible her parents promised her!!!! The party starts, she and her new "friends" (who insulted her to the Mtv cameras after the party, and admitted that they weren't going to talk to her again once the cameras turned off) come out on litters Cleopatra-style wearing skimpy bikinis. They ground their asses into the crotches of what looked to be the football team for hours. At the end, she got her car. I couldn't help but notice the birthday girl's smushed-in face; she didn't sound entirely coherent when she spoke, as well - both unmistakable signs of the Fetal alcohol Syndrome baby all grown up.

It was like watching a nightmare.

Remember when the spoiled, rich mean kids were the VILLAINS in tv shows and movies? If Weird Science were made today, the jocks (Robert Downey Jr. and Other Guy) who make Gary and Wyatt's life miserable would be the protagonists. The evil brother, Chet, would be the hero.

I blame George W. Bush entirely. Yet another piece of the fallout of his disastrous reign of terror - replacing a healthy questioning of government and emphasis on study, science, and reading with a bullying frat-boy mentality of stamping out any spirit of intellectualism.

I will be accompanying a few pals to New York this weekend - it will be a much-needed break, and I'm pretty excited. I think it's supposed to rain, but I don't even care. It will be good to get the hell out of Alabama for a few days.

Listen to "Back in the New York Groove" by Ace Freehley this weekend and think of me...

Hello, it's Me (I've thought about us for a long, long time)

2006-08-28T16:45:00.000-05:00

I know, ok? I know. It's been a while. So when did summer become the busiest time of year? Aren't you supposed to be sipping lemonade at Grandma's on the front porch, or having 2-week long whirlwind romances at summer camp, except you break up with him before time to go home so your real, long-term friends don't find out that you went out with a guy who wasn't that cute? And then he wants to stay together throughout the entire school year, too, and you know that's not possible b/c you're going back to school and you'll be seeing your REAL crush again, and you hope he notices your tan and new bang-less haircut?

Ahem. Sorry.

So what has Absinthe been doing? Boring stuff, mostly. A big jewelry sale that loomed over my existence for a few weeks is finally over, so that's great. I am not going to look at another bead or finding again for at least a month. I am way behind on my reading, and Netflix movies have been laying around for an awfully long time lately.

I took on a second (FUN) contracting job (not fulltime, thank goodness), and that's been taking up time as well, but in a good way. It's a project that deals with helping students and teachers find information on the web, so it's a neat thing to be involved in.

The douchebags at my 8-5 job are douchbaggier than ever, plus no one is sure how much longer my job is going to last, so I'm currently involved in a full-scale jobhunt. More information on that story as it unfolds...

It was one of those cleaning and laundry weekends, so nothing new to report there. I think I"m going to quit while I'm almost ahead and skip out of here...

Spanks for listening (reading?).

He came home from the war with a party in his head...

2006-08-11T16:51:00.000-05:00

It just never gets old, people...

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

I'm sure you can overhear funny crap anywhere you go, but New York has so many more ppl than most places - you're bound to hear something pants-peeingly funny somewhere. Spellchecker is SO not going to like "pants-peeingly," btw.

My name is Friday. I wear a badge.

2006-08-10T10:33:00.000-05:00

A few things...

I tried to wear eye makeup today for the first time in months (I'm a makeup junkie, so it's hard to go for a long time without it). And just like 3 months ago, my eyes watered it off in 1 1/2 hrs. I look like a battered wife who's been crying.
The company that makes my contact lens solution had a factory fire in Duluth, GA, and production of it has been indefinitely halted. I was threatened within an inch of my life to use this stuff (rather than the plebian no-rub solution Opti-Free) to clean my contacts, so we'll see what the eye doctor has to say when i go in for my check-up in 2 weeks, hee hee. Clear Care has always been a pain b/c you have to leave your lenses in it for at least 6 hrs at a time so the peroxide can dissipate, or whatever. I was much happier with Opti-Free back in the day...
Tom Waits was fantastic - both shows were. He's still funny and cantankerous and brilliant. I was not expecting to hear "What's He Building," "Shore Leave," or "Cemetery Polka" - all favorite Tom Waits songs of mine. At one point in Nashville at the Ryman, a dude yelled out "I love you, Tom!" He snarled back, "You're boring me." Awesome. He makes living on the fringe seem a lot less stressful, cold, and unsanitary than it probably is.
Jack Webb is my hero. In the past few days, I have moved from "Dragnet enthusiast" to "Dragnet obsessive." Dragnet 1967, to be specific. There would never have been a Law and Order franchise without Dragnet. My favorite episode right now is the one where they meet Blue Boy, the acid dealer. All in one episode, they find out what acid is (Jack Webb tells you in voice-over narration that it's called "the ticket" and dealers are called "travel agents" - it's hilarious), the drug becomes illegal, and they arrest a lot of teenagers at a party trying to climb the walls and eat paint. Their search for Blue Boy comes to an end when they find him dead in his apartment. His zoned-out friend goes, "He's been like that all day. He just wanted to get further out." Sgt. Friday gravely replies, "Well he got there, all right. He got there." Desperate Housewives is for assholes - this is truly classic television.
With a completely straight face, the weather man said last night that we're going to have a break from the heat wave. Instead of feeling like it's 105 every day, it will feel 99 or so. Thanks, guy. You're awesome. Now we can have picnics in the park. In the 99 DEGREE park.
I hope it's ok to remove a skintab yourself, b/c I did just that this morning. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, which, I think, is a good sign.
A recent ulcer diagnosis has forced me to reduce my caffeine intake, but I broke down and had a cup of coffee this morning. I'm weak - I know. It was SO worth it, though. It tasted delicious and sexy. The past few mornings have been rough without it - I'd reached the point at which I might French-kiss a stranger for the residual coffee taste on their breath. Maybe I shouldn't let that one get around...
Note to self: when trying on lowish-cut shirts from now on, sit down in the dressing room to see where it falls in terms of cleavage. What looked sassy and cute in the mirror this morning (from a standing position) now makes me look like Slutly McSlutsky sitting down.

That is all.

Is this the way love's supposed to be? It's like a heatwave...

2006-08-03T12:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, fine. Uncle. It's hot everywhere. Every mofo in the U.S. is sweltering right now in the ridiculous, painful, scorching heat. People are DYING. I'm sitting at my desk drinking the largest Gatorade that my local Conoco sells. Expanding my collection of wifebeaters (or boybeaters, as American Apparel so reverse-sexistly calls them) turned out to be a good decision b/c that's all I've worn after work for the past month and a half.

I was not genetically engineered to handle this kind of heat. Conan O'Brien once said it best: "I was genetically predisposed to live in an Irish bog." The heat really does make people crazy. I might have killed a man myself (and mark my works: it would have been a man), but cold-blooded murder usually requires that you leave the AC and fan for more than 20 min. at a time. And that isn't going to happen. I witnessed a car wreck on my way back from lunch that I was less than 2 seconds away from being involved in.... I think I'll put Summer of Sam at the top of my Netflix queue. Bring on the paranoia... if everyone's going crazy, I think I'll ride it out, Zelda Fitzgerald-style.

In other news NOT pertaining to the fact that the US is officially hotter than the hinges of hell, my new cell phone is scheduled to arrive today. You may remember (actually, you won't - don't bother trying) that I posted about my poor, tired, old cell phone back in May. She is now even older and more tired (I fondly named her "Hillary" when I first got her after HRC, who kicks ass). She's also being held together by 2 small pieces of scotch tape, which is sad. Plus, people keep pointing it out. They'll go, "Hey, your phone is held together with Scotch tape." I've been trying really hard not to cheerfully reply, "Tape on my phone, you say? Thanks, Captain Obvious - I had no idea! Especially since it's MY PHONE."

Some people have sharp tempers, some are risk-takers and some are gullible. I'm convinced that my sarcasm will probably be the death of me one day. It wasn't my fault, though. I watched a lot of Jeanine Garafalo and Laura Kitlinger stand-up when I was in high school...

p.s. If it's too hot for you, maybe this will cool you down. Because daddy, it's very, very cool.

It's Gettin' Hot in Herre

2006-08-02T13:02:00.000-05:00

Ahem (sips sweet iced tea w/lemon).

Let me begin by saying that I love the South. I love the food, the people, the way you can get away with going out to a nice(ish) bar on Saturday night wearing jeans, flip-flops, and a wifebeater and completely get away with it as long as you're wearing a sweet necklace or big, flashy earrings... The South rocks. Every town has bizarre secrets involving people eating dirt, performing in a traveling carnival, and burying coworkers in piles of corn shucks ("cornshucks" may possibly be only one word - I'm too lazy to look it up, although my grandmother almost certainly could have told you). It seems slow-paced and bleary-eyed. It's not.

The South runs through my blood like sloe gin through the liver of a Baptist deacon's wife, still humming "Blest Be the Tie that Binds," hiding out on the back porch after a Sunday night sermon. I have by now come to the conclusion that I will never completely shake the South, no matter where I go, and have even realized that this is OK. I kind of embrace it now.

But people, it is HOT up in here. It's ridiculous. I understand that it's hot everywhere, but we are swimming from work to our cars here. Humidity is an evil bitch, and since August has officially hit, I don't feel like a lame-ass for whining about it. At this point, I'm like a Massachusetts resident in March - sick of the extreme weather and ready for some relief. Sadly, though, in Alabama, relief is not going to come for at least another month and a half (and in a month and a half, I'll probably be visiting Phoenix. I never claimed to be the smartest, ok?).

New Orleans residents (both currently in New Orleans and still evacuated all over the country) are some tough sons of bitches. God bless all of you. When I think of how hot and humid New Orleans gets, I want to cry. I could not hack it - I'm just too weak.

Speaking of Phoenix, lest I forget, those mofo's out West are troopers, too. When it's 120 every day with no end in sight, it doesn't matter how much humidity you have - you're living in an oven. The heat is bringing out the serial killers out there. Like my good friend from Phoenix said in a message a while back, "It's like Summer of Sam up in here! The heat is getting to people's BRAINS!!" Carry on, my wayward sons. There'll be peace when you are done. Or maybe a breeze or two, at the very least.

I can't tell you what, in this lifetime of ours, I'll definitely be doing in the next few weeks, but I can guaran-DAMN-tee you that there will be many many baths, showers, glasses of iced tea with lemon and mint, and ceiling fans blowing so hard that they come close to taking flight.

If anyone needs me tonight, I'll be on my terrace, angry about the heat, listening to Tom Waits bellow about whatever he's angry about (Bone Machine will be in the player), and praying for buckets and sheets of rain.

Tainted Love

2006-07-24T13:45:00.000-05:00

A set of 12 DVD's full of 80's music videos found its way into my possession this weekend, and I've been cracking out like I haven't since Nip/Tuck Season 2 was released. I wish I could convey the feeling of delight I had when I saw the video to "Something About You" by Level 42 for the first time in at least 15 years. And "Always Something There to Remind Me" by Naked Eyes. And "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell. Mtv of the 80's was my childhood. We didn't have cable at my house until I was around 9, but good God, I watched it all the time at friends' houses and my grandmother's house. I love how, in the very earliest of those Mtv years, they didn't have a lot of videos to play, so you'd see Johnny Cash, then Black Sabbath, then Willie Nelson, then an old Elton John performance. A lot of people don't remember that because most cable companies didn't carry Mtv in its first 2 years. By the time we got Mtv ('87-'88), the Golden Age was over. Remote Control and the Monkees were being played around the clock (not that I didn't like those shows - I loved them - but they weren't music videos).

But I digress. The point is, these videos have completely taken me back. I hadn't thought about sitting with my friend Chuckie singing "Time (Clock of My Heart)" by Culture Club in the 1st grade for...decades?

Speaking of music, I was blown away by a bluegrass band on Saturday night. It struck me that bluegrass has got to be one of the most difficult kinds of music to play, and what artists these men are to play those instruments so perfectly. For a lot of my teenage years, I dismissed that music as "country" and didn't want anything to do with it, so I'm glad to say I'm broadening my bluegrass horizons. It's so beautiful - I don't know how anyone couldn't like at least a song here and there.

It's back to the gym today after an extended absence - I'm going to spinning class if my favorite instructor is teaching. Because it's so hot and humid here, I tend to languish indoors a little too much in the summer, and that's going to change starting today. I think a lot of people tend to put on winter fat, but that's when I tend to be out and about the most. Plus the gym is somewhere you can go in the winter where you know you won't be cold! Especially spinning...

Pete Kelly's Blues

2006-07-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

Last night was a foggy haze of a birthday, REALLY good wine, a long overdue (and way too short) visit with Amy, a jazz record narrated by Jack Webb, and a vague headache. I had crazy dreams involving the carnival from that old Disney movie Something Wicked This Way Comes. I forgot to switch the CD in my alarm clock, so I woke up to Astrud Gilberto, which put me in the oddest mood today. Not a bad mood at all - just kind of...sideways.

The only residual strangeness from the wine was that I had a slightly short temper at work. I had to physically clamp my mouth shut so that my first words spoken aloud today weren't, "Shut your noise hole, you arrogant, ridiculous douchebag." The aforementioned douchebag said something smart-ass to my boss, who I really like, and he gets on my last nerve on a regular basis. This bizarre joke of a person actually inspires me to invent new obscene epithets meaning, "Tiny little man who is full of himself and whose favorite hobby is belittling and insulting others around him to build up his already overblown ego and to compensate for his safety-pin-sized penis." I suppose it's possible to go through life thinking that most people you encounter are pretty good folks who don't want to cause harm to you or others. But then you join the American workforce, and quickly realize how little you knew about people. People are freaks.

It's Friday, though, so I can't stay testy all day. On Friday, everything almost seems ok because I've got 2 1/2 full days to myself. Then Monday comes, and I realize how much I am desperately, achingly craving a real vacation. I think I can hang on until October. What I'm not sure of is whether or not I can hang on until 5pm this afternoon...

Swordfishtrombones

2006-07-11T08:52:00.000-05:00

I've got 2 amazing musical experiences lined up for the next month: Tom Waits and M. Ward. Tom barely ever tours, let alone comes to the South, but he said in a recent interview, "I want to buy some fireworks in Tennessee, and a guy in Kentucky owes me money." Problem is, no one else I know got a ticket. I really, really don't want to go to Atlanta alone, but I will. It's Tom fucking Waits, for crying out loud. I'll just have to force myself to be intrepid. After all, has Tom taught me nothing?

M. Ward is an artist I've just gotten into in the last 6 months or so. Great songwriter, brilliant guitar player, and a voice that gives me chills. He sings "Handle With Care" on Jenny Lewis' record with Jenny, Conor Oburst, and Ben Gibbard. When his part comes in (the George Harrison part, I think), I forget the others are even in the song until someone else starts singing. If I were singing a song with the so-called Gods of Indie Rock, I'd want to stand out somehow, and his voice really does. He's playing at the Belcourt in Nashville, and I think I'm going to be really lucky to see him in so intimate a setting before he hits it big.

More on those shows later - most likely after they've happened.

I'm reading some fun, interesting things right now. One of them is Philip Roth's The Plot Against America. Roth (or, rather Roth of the last 10 years) comes pretty close to being my favorite American writer, and this one isn't disappointing. His last few books have been razor-sharp, witty, and approaching bitter. This one has crossed the line into "angry." I don't mind, though. When it comes to Roth, he writes best when his pen is dripping with poison. His sarcastic look at the funeral of Richard Nixon in I Married a Communist (pointing out the hypocrisy of the attendees who came close to cannonizing the man) is probably my favorite scene in all of Roth's work. His newest book takes place in an alternate reality where Lindbergh defeated FDR and refused to involve America in WWII. I'm not very far into it, but I can see where it's heading. America becomes an evil, anti-Semitic nation, and Roth is going to hold up a mirror to our current state under the W administration. The man is brilliant.

The other book I'm reading - my guilty pleasure - is a Barnes and Noble bargain book called The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. I know, ok? I know. I, too, find it sad and pathetic that I will happily lap up the table scraps of writers whom I wouldn't normally give the time of day simply because they're writing about Sherlock Holmes. But I've read all the novels and short stories several times, and you can only do that so much before you start craving new material. None of the cannon (works by different authors written after those original Doyle stories) has ever been anywhere near as good as the originals. But I read them anyway.

I picked up Thievery Corporation's new Versions yesterday, and I've been enjoying it at work, in my car, and in my bathtub (that's the beauty of Thievery Corporation). I think it's time I overhaul my iPod and take off a LOT of old stuff that I mostly skip through now, and add lots of new stuff I've been hoarding since Rosalie was here. It will be a whole new ride to work in the mornings.

In other news, my cool neighbor took a picture of a rather oddly-shaped, huge cucumber that a vaguely creepy man at work gave me. She works at a frame shop, so she matted it and framed it beautifully with a scrap frame she found - it's bizarre and gorgeous at the same time. I gave it a place of honor on my kitchen wall. If I went out specifically looking for an odd conversation piece, I couldn't have found a better one than Amber made me yesterday.

That is all.

Pad Thai, Krystals, and R. Kelly

2006-06-28T09:46:00.000-05:00

There's something so great about a fantastic Thai meal with several of your favorite people on your birthday, followed by a walk around your (tiny) town square, followed by Heineken at your town's best version of a run-down dive bar where you interact with fun, kind people from around your town that makes everything feel ok for a while.

And then there's something about heroically cruising into work the next day and being forced to deal with your new temporary office mate's stinky fast food breakfast and lunch (Krystal's, people), constant raunchy burping, and endless loud R&B slow jams that make you a) really appreciate not eating lunch for that 2 weeks while you saved up every last cent you had for your iPod, and b) realize that you need a long, long vacation that all the leave days in the world couldn't provide you with.

Kafka on the Shore

2006-06-26T16:37:00.000-05:00

What is it with me and odd, dreamlike, surreal books lately? I'm about to finish Murakami's Kafka on the Shore (after being entranced by his The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle), and I'm sorry it's over. One of the main characters is a man who can make it rain leeches. Enough said.

Say what you will, no one does "surreal" quite like the Japanese. If you've seen Spirited Away or The Ring, you know what I'm talking about. The Ring scared the crap out of me, and movies just don't scare me. Ever. It was one of those movies that I kept thinking about and turning over and over in my mind until I dreamed about it a couple of times. Shudder.

The movie Lost in Translation got a lot of flack for "silent racism," but that isn't what was going on at all. If I were staying in Tokyo, not speaking a word of Japanese, and just walking around looking at things, I'd probably think things seemed a little...off-kilter, too - at least for a little while. On the other side of the coin, though, I'd love to see a movie about a Japanese (or any nationality, really) person coming to New York, and just walking around, soaking up the strangeness. Mystery Train was kind of like that, but the Japanese couple - at least the guy - already knew a lot about Memphis culture already; that's why they went in the first place.

Speaking of good books by Japanese authors, I also loved Amrita by Banana Yoshimoto. I read it years ago, and I'm still thinking about it. I gave my copy away a long time ago, and now I'm regretting it - maybe I can find a cheap edition somewhere online. I love that modern Japanese culture sees fit to find an important niche for both the spirit world and the most modern of technology. I mean, think about it: in The Ring, the villain leaves messages on answering machines, and seems to be intimately familiar with the videotaping process. American society sees those 2 entities as completely separate and distinct - almost opposing, really. When you go to church, you often hear about how "we need to get back to the essentials of life" and how "technology equals materialism."

Not to imply that there's anything particularly spiritual about my new CD Player/Alarm Clock/Radio/mp3 Player, but I know for a fact that it makes my life better. It's multi-functional, space-saving, and wasn't too expensive. Did I absolutely need it? No. Could I have lived without it? Absolutely. I guess I just find it interesting that, in other parts of the world, modern life and religion compliment each other.

I could continue this ramble for a long time, but I won't. I have reading to do...

...for me to poop on

2006-06-22T13:12:00.000-05:00

This is one of those days after which I'm going to need all those things in the world that make me feel better about life... you know those things that remind you of your security blanket/teddy bear/Transformer or whatever thing of choice you had as a kid that would be the first thing you rescued in the event of a fire or nuclear disaster or guerilla attack (Nicaragua was in the news a LOT when I was a child)?

It's not even that this day has been so awful...it's mostly that I've just had enough of it, you know? I'm ready for it to be over. I give up. It wins. I fully concede that getting out of bed was my first wrong choice in a series of wrong, wrong choices today. Uncle, ok??

So tonight, I'm going to cruise home, and enjoy many (time may keep me from getting to all) of the items on the following list:

- a long. hot. bath. This has become pretty much a nightly routine anyway, but it's going to feel especially good tonight. Tonight's bath will prominently feature scrub, pumice stone, a mask, and a shitload of moisturizer. Stress dries out my skin.

- a thin-crust Domino's pizza. Enough said.

- Mean Girls. It's funny, wicked, sweet, and the meanest, most horrible girl in school gets hit by a bus in the end. What could be better? Plus it features Lindsay Lohan, whom I secretly adore when she isn't dating Fez from That 70's Show or doing lines in public bathroom stalls or dying her hair nasty blonde. Stick with Meryl Streep, Lindsay. That one's a keeper. Ahem - I digress.

- Coke (a Cola, that is). For one day of my life, I'm going to have REAL COKE - not the diet stuff we delude ourselves into thinking tastes "just as good" as the real thing. It doesn't. Ok, fine, I'm having one right now. It just couldn't wait, people.

- Arrested Development. Funniest, smartest show ever to air on TV. Only America would be stupid enough to let a show like that slip through its fat, beer-soaked, frat-boy fingers. If the war in Iraq weren't enough of a reason for the rest of the world to hate us, they REALLY hate us for letting AD get cancelled.

- Portishead's Dummy. My favorite album of all time. It seems like a downer on the surface, but it always makes me feel better when I need to be consoled.

- my favorite quilt that Mimi made. The ends of it are in tatters now (I should probably look into getting it repaired), but I love wrapping up in it when I'm down. It's so old that the fabric is threadbare and really soft, so it feels good.

- The Best of Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. This DVD makes me laugh so hard that I projectile spray out whatever liquid I'm drinking at the moment. Funniest shit I've ever seen. "No animals were actually harmed during the making of this DVD. Except a schnauzer, but she liked it rough. Hey - what can I say? She's German..."

Good Christ, this day can't end fast enough. If I fall into my unmade bed 3 seconds after walking through the door, the above list may be considered null and void. Except the pizza. And bath. And Triumph. Well I have to eat and relax and laugh, don't I?

Inevitably, this means my mom will call with some task for me to carry out that can only be done TONIGHT. "Honey, I desperately need you to get me a roll of fresh salami, a 1930's telephone, and an exact scale model of Columbus' ship The Pinta before 9pm!!" Oh, who am I kidding? When has my mom ever called me "Honey?"

Pink Panther's Penthouse Party!

2006-06-15T13:13:00.000-05:00

I think I've found my official album of summer. It's a compilation released last year called "Pink Panther's Penthouse Party." I believe it was released to commemorate some sort of anniversary of the original film, plus raise interest in the Steve Martin movie that came out a while ago (I didn't see it - it didn't look great). Here's the track listing:

1. Pink Panther Theme - Henry Mancini
2. Panther Theme (Fischerspooner Remix) - Henry Mancini
3. Fever (Gabin Remix) - Peggy Lee
4. Corazon - Titan
5. Smokebomb - Ursula 1000
6. The Girl From Ipanema - Pizzicato Five
7. Weapon Of Choice - Fatboy Slim
8. Sacre Francais - Dmitri From Paris
9. Summer Sun - Koop (featuring Yukimi Nagano)
10. Bachelor Pad - Fantastic Plastic Machine
11. Voulez Vous? - Arling & Cameron
12. The Pink Panther Theme - Colored by St. Germain
13. San Antonio - Kinky
14. Shot In The Dark/Peter Gunn (Under The Gunn Mix) - Chris Mancini & Lennart
15. Bossa Per Due - Nicola Conte
16. Intraspettro - Les Hommes
17. Tres Tres Chic - Mocean Worker
18. The Pink Panther Theme (Malibu Remix) - Henry Mancini

A lot of it is French electronica, and it's all downtempo, so if you don't like this genre, stay away. There are 2 not-so-good remixes of Mancini's Pink Panther Theme; they are definitely the weak links on this record. The Fischerspooner Peggy Lee remix is fantastic. Normally I don't think you should mess with perfection, but occasionally something really inspired can come out of it. I like this version as much as the original. Arling & Cameron's sly, sleazy "Voulez Vous?" is another one of my favorite tracks, as well as Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" (remember the brilliant video featuring a tap-dancing, gymnastic, flying Christopher Walken?) and Pizzicato Five's take on "The Girl from Ipanema." The stand-out track is, in my opinion, Koop's ecstatic "Summer Sun." It makes me nostalgic for times that may not have even happened. The songs I haven't mentioned are far from filler tracks - this is a killer CD, from beginning to end.

In the unlikely event that I befriend someone with a pool before the end of the summer, I know what CD we'll be playing. It's also excellent background music for a very, very cool cocktail party. I've only ever seen one copy at local stores, so it will probably be most easily found online.

I'm also enjoying some mix CD's that Rosalie left me. Heard a Polyphonic Spree song that I haven't listened to in way too long. Good friends who provide you with good music are VERY RARE. Cherish them.

And...scene.

Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl.

2006-06-13T16:54:00.000-05:00

The past few days have been a blur of being idle, spending frivolously, and eating food that my digestive system isn't entirely ok with. Rosalie came in from Phoenix, and I hadn't seen her in almost a year, so we got to catch up. It's so good to catch up with your oldest friends - these are the people who knew you when you were at your ugliest (13 for me), and most obnoxious (a long Monty Python phase that lasted from 9th thru 11th grade for me), and still weren't embarrassed to be seen publicly with you. You have to hold them dear for that alone.

Also, just in time for summer, Rosalie hooked me up with a shitload of new downtempo music - Gotan Project, a cpl of volumes of Mushroom Jazz, Astrud Gilberto... downtempo is always my favorite summer music. I think everyone should listen to freewheeling, carefree, booty-shaking music every once in a while. It cleanses the soul. Someone very wise (George Clinton) once said, "Let your mind go, and your ass will follow."

Included in the frivolous spending was a trip to the Bath and Body Works sale - I haven't been in that store in MONTHS, and since long, hot baths are apparently becoming part of my daily routine (see previous entry in which I gush about my huge clawfoot bathtub), I dropped a little cash there on bubble bath. I don't think I can specifically put my finger on a lot of things that make my life better, but baths definitely do. My favorite flavor is Copa Cabana - er, sorry: Coco Cabana. I've never been much of a coconut person in the past, but in the bath, this stuff smells divine. Plus it's partially named after a Barry Manilow song...

Rosalie left yesterday (sniff sniff), so I spent most of last night playing catch-up and getting my life back into pre-vacation order. I cleaned my apartment, did laundry, straightened... it's sad that vacation is over, but nice that I can find things again. I'm also pleasantly surprised to discover that I like my life enough to not hate getting back into it post-vacation. My job is, for the most part, pleasant and bearable (which is more than a lot of people can say), my friends are amazing, and I have enough initiative and creativity to keep myself busy doing the things that I love. I LOVE BEING ALONE. And did I mention my bathtub?

I'm taking a trip to Phoenix later in the year when it isn't so hot. Phoenix contains Rosalie, Angela, Pita Jungle, the world's biggest bead store (at least I'm pretty sure it's the biggest), fantastic nightlife, and the best shopping anywhere. I should probably start saving... now.

The Ten Commandments Lunatic Will Most Likely Go To Hell

2006-06-06T16:09:00.000-05:00

Yard Dogs Road Show was spectacular...again. It was a circus, it was a freak show, it was a Tom Waits-meets-Bob Fosse extravaganza, it was burlesque...it was anything you want it to be. I love the fact that, in 2006, there are still people who travel around together singing, dancing, and drinking hard. The trombone and accordion players blew me away - those are really hard instruments to play. I believe it's a group based out of San Francisco. Good God, I'd love to sit in on those auditions.

I'm about to head over to do my civic duty and vote. It's hard when you're choosing between shit and shinola, but it's worth the effort just to vote Roy Moore off the ticket. The Ten Commandments Lunatic (my own affectionate name for him) doesn't need to go anywhere near a ballot, so I'm going to try to make sure he doesn't. While I was happily dozing between my 400 threadcount Egyptian Cotton sheets on Sunday morning, thousands of Alabamians were being told by fundamentalist preachers all over to vote in Roy Moore, and vote out gay marriage.

If I were against gay marriage, I just wouldn't marry a gay person.

But whatever. I'm tempted to shirk my civic duty, because it seems as though giving a crap always backfires on me. It has in the last 2 presidential elections.

Ben has recently directed my attention to Loretta Nall, a candidate for Alabama Governor who supports giving gays guns rather than pass hate crime legislation. In her words exactly, "Armed gays are not bashed gays."

I never thought I'd be a proponent of gay rights, being female, straight, and Southern, but I hate seeing tax-paying Americans being stripped of their rights. Also, being a card-carrying fag hag since the age of 8 (I thought it was perfectly normal to sit around your bedroom with your guy friends singing along to the original broadway recording of Annie and experimenting with blush), these are, in a way, my "people."

Boogie Nights

2006-05-30T13:31:00.000-05:00

Since moving into my apartment, I haven't really ventured out to hear live music, so going to the DiscOasis show Friday night was kind of a big deal. It was a lot of fun, though - they do the sweetest covers of "Boogie Nights" - my all-time favorite disco song - and "More More More" that I've ever heard.

Fun crowd, too. Fun people tend to like disco, or at least tolerate it for a night b/c it's not blues or a cheezy jam band.

I don't really remember making my way up my stairs and into bed at 4am (not to mention taking out my contacts and getting undressed), but I guess I must have... good times.

Other than that, I had a fun, lazy, uneventful holiday weekend. Writing about it would bore anyone who wasn't involved, so I won't. Even the novel I'm reading right now, while riveting to me, is a piece of crime fiction that no one else would be interested in.

My bosses, assistant, and several co-workers are out of town this week, so I'm kind of twiddling my thumbs, trying to stay busy (hence this entry). More later.

Maybe.

Velleity

2006-05-25T13:37:00.000-05:00

I had a long snicker the other day when I came across the least-original, most ridiculous blog entry I've read in a good long time. It was written by someone I vaguely know; the topic was how lame and boring our town is (and, specifically, how no one gets off their ass to make good music here).
I briefly considered linking to it, but couldn't bring myself to. Blogs are meant for friends, after all, and I really had no business drawing unwanted attention to a private blog entry simply because I think it's a steaming pile of shit posted by someone who will never be happy here because he will never be happy ANYWHERE because it's really himself he doesn't like - not his town. Ahem. Psychoanalysis session over. Sorry.
I'm certainly not my town's biggest fan - it has its good days and bad, like most. But in the spirit of proving losers wrong, I thought I'd post a list of my favorite things about my town.

1)The bookstores. The small, independent bookstore is a dying breed, and our town manages to support several. Shaver's Books is an incredible little store. It is a true reader's best friend - the man can order anything. The Booklegger is also amazing - you never know what you're going to find in there. I'm told that gamers go to small comic shops, as well, and manage to keep them in business.
2)The Japanese food. For some unknown reason, we have a massive selection of Japanese restaurants. Mikawa was built for the ppl who work at the Toyota plant - it's totally authentic. Miyako has $1 sushi on Monday nights. Miwon has the biggest sushi selection, it's fantastic, and it often comes served on a wooden boat. We also have a few of the dog-and-pony "cook it in front of you" chains that people seem to like. And then there's Edo. Need I say more?
3)Bandito Burrito. They put crack in their food - no one can get enough.
4)Cheap gyms. I LOVE my gym. It's state-of-the-art (or was 2 yrs ago, at least), offers tons of classes, and is normally not too crowded, give or take an hour or so after work. I pay $40 a month, which, while fairly high for gym fees for this area, is nothing compared to the national average.
5)Cheap cost of living. Where else could you find an apartment in one of the wealthiest and certainly oldest neighborhoods in town? And on my salary, no less (which ain't a lot, people)?
6)The Flying Monkey Arts Center. Thank God for Catherine, who runs it, because it gives our town a streak of the odd (and sometimes outright bizarre) that it desperately needs. Case in point: the Yard Dogs Road Show that's on its way here in June. We are very, very, very, very lucky to have a venue to host fun events like this.
7)The untapped antique market. For the same price as a lot of the cheap crap furniture we buy now, you can to go Hartlex or Firehouse antiques and find an amazing quality, funky piece. Or sometimes just beautiful, old stuff. Hell, Mary's Antiques (which is really mostly beads) has the strangest, most fun framed art I've ever seen. The prices are worth the ornate frames alone...
8)We actually get independent films. We don't ALWAYS have indie films here, but thanks to the Regal Madison Square 12 cinema, I've seen "Mulholland Drive," "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," "Amelie," "Capote," and "Me and You and Everyone We Know" on the big screen. They're showing "L'Enfant" this week...
9)The untapped thrift store market. I don't know anyone who hasn't gotten some odd piece of furniture or clothing at a thrift store around here. The coolest coat I ever owned (dark yellow faux velvet w/a belt) came from the downtown rescue mission thrift store. I almost cried the day I realized I'd worn it threadbare.
10)Sunburst Records. Jay is an institution. We bonded over a mutual love of Kate Bush when I was 15 yrs old.
11)The Indian, Thai, and Vietnamese cuisine. We don't have a lot of these restaurants, but the ones we DO have are fantastic. Vinnie's, Thai Garden, and Viet Huong are not to be missed.
12)The free summer movies in the park. There are worse ways I could spend a Friday night than sitting in Big Spring Park, surrounded by friends, eating take-out Vietnamese food, drinking a beer, and watching "Singin' in the Rain."
13)The Sunday Brunch choices (you'll notice that a lot of these have to do with food). Jazz Factory, the Palette Cafe, and Cafe Baba have excellent Sunday brunches, each a little different from the other.
14)Our salons and spas. We have a huge choice of spas and independent masseuses/masseurs. The independent ones are very reasonably priced, and our salons are fantastic. We're lucky to have businesses like Terrame and Salon Ka Terra.
15)Community Ballet. People don't realize that we have acclaimed, classically-trained ballet masters teaching right here in town. Their recitals, along with the annual Nutcracker performance, are top-notch, not to mention the Russian ballet company they host every year for a performance.
16)Garden Cove. I am hooked on at least 5 products that can only be found at this store. It's a totally different way of looking at grocery shopping. Their tea room in the back alone is worth a visit.
And a few others:
-our Municipal Ice Plex is fantastic
-we have endless smoothie choices
-local cafes
-we have at least 20 book clubs
-we live within 2 hrs of Birmingham and Nashville - you can usually go to a show and be home by 12:30am (plenty of time to get a few hrs rest before work the next day)
-UAH Hockey games are genuinely fun
-when it's not swelteringly hot, Stars games are genuinely fun
-Amy McCarley, the Rocket Scientists, Daikaiju, the Pine Hill Haints, DiscOasis, and Toy Shop all rock the trailer
-WE HAVE ROLLER DERBY

Velleity is defined as "wishing or hoping without ever taking action." It blows my mind that people around here can spend significant amounts of time being bored. I can't find enough hours in the day to do even half the things I want to do. For God's sake, read a book. Take a walk. Knit some booties. Volunteer at the AIDS clinic. Or move the hell away. None of this was written in a mean spirit; it was written in a "weary of the bitching and moaning" spirit. I count among my present set of friends some of the most intelligent, witty, creative, amazing people I've ever known, and I can't remember the last time one of them called me and said, "Dude - I'm bored. What should we do?" Barring airplane rides, long waits in waiting rooms, and shopping with my mom, I don't think I've really been bored since high school.

Metropolitan

2006-05-19T15:40:00.000-05:00

You know those movies you'd heard about for years, but either never got around to renting them, or never could b/c your lame-ass local video store wouldn't carry them b/c they already had 3 shelves of Scary Movie 7, and didn't have room for critically-acclaimed films? And then you joined Netflix and finally SAW the movie in question, and it simultaneously SUCKED, BLEW, and BIT THE BIG ONE?
Well that happened to me the other day. I got Whit Stillman's Metropolitan in the mail, and was really excited - it's just been released on DVD for the first time ever (in a Criterion edition, no less).
I hated it. It was pretentious, shallow, and, I thought, mean-spirited. I LOVED his Last Days of Disco, and the two films were actually similar in a lot of ways. But everything that worked in LDoD was terrible in Metropolitan. The endless exposition on class structure from snotty, uber-wealthy 18 yr olds was more than I could handle.
I enjoyed The Watcher in the Woods (a re-viewing of the late-70's Disney movie that scared the living shit out of me as a child) MUCH more than Metropolitan. Ben and I watched it last Friday night, and added our own commentary, a la "Mystery Science Theatre 3000." In this DVD release, however, you actually get to SEE the Watcher, and lame doesn't begin to describe how terrible it was (not to mention the "other dimension/planet" you see at the end). The Watcher consisted of black torn garbage bags draped over coat hangers, and the "other world" looks like an 80's gay disco, from the era when disco wasn't even in vogue anymore (think flat and unenthusiastic). And when you finally see Karen, she's wearing this spectacularly awful blonde wig. I know because I wore that same wig to a rave in '96 where we danced in foam and everyone wore blue nail polish. From a completely camp perspective, however, The Watcher in the Woods is a joy, from beginning to end.
I'm going to spend the weekend attempting to hide from DaVinci Code hysteria. The film is released today, and I've already spent the last 2 years dodging earnest-looking middle-Americans who hadn't previously read a book in 6 years coming up to me (after finding out I'm a reader), intoning, "OHMIGOD, you HAVE to read the DaVinci Code - it's the BEST BOOK!!! It will change your whole perspective!!! And it's so controVERcial!" I remember the same sort of mob mentality over that book The Bridges of Madison County. And The Lovely Bones. I actually gave DVC a chance, and was appalled at how bad it was. And this isn't exactly coming from a literary snob - I may have been an English major, but I've been known to read a John Grisham and Patricia Cornwell, and I've liked a lot of them. DVC was a whole lot of nothing - wooden dialogue, flat characters, cheezy cliffhangers at the end of every chapter, and an insulting withholding of information until the very end.
I've heard that the film blows, so maybe it will die quickly, and we can all move on with our lives... I'm weary of seeing Tom Hanks with his child molester haircut everywhere.

Surrounded by Churchbells

2006-05-18T14:30:00.000-05:00

My new apartment is amazing. I am slowly getting used to the frequent noises of trains and churchbells. There are no less than 3 churches on my street, which I love, and 5 more on the blocks that surround my street. It makes parking on Sunday mornings a bit difficult sometimes, but only for a cpl of hours. Besides the church bells, trains, and the occasional (loud) siren, it's completely quiet. So far, I've experienced few, if any, drawbacks to living in an old mansion converted into apartments. My street is beautiful, and, because I live next door (on one side) to offices, that's a whole slew of neighbors who simply aren't there to be annoying (or annoyed by me, which is almost worse). Nothing has freaked me out or made me uneasy yet,which is good. I feel totally safe there. The street is like a ghost town at night. I've only met one man who lives in the place, and he's barely around. Another guy works out of town for something like 80% of the time, so he's never there, either.
My mom did a little research on the house while at work, and she found out that it's been apartments since at least the 1940's, which is as far back as she got. It's so strange to think of people in the 50's living in my apartment. I wonder who lived there during WWII... She even found specific names of ppl who have lived in my particular apartment. Looks like they were all working, single women.
In other news, my brother graduates from high school later today. That doesn't seem right. I'm 11 yrs older than him, so in my mind, he'll always be a skinny 10-yr-old with messy brown hair playing his Gameboy. Seeing him in a cap and gown will be bizarre, to say the least. I really hope I don't cry.

My Sister's Continent

2006-05-17T08:33:00.000-05:00

I've had one book on the brain for the past 2 months, so I thought I'd post about it. It's called My Sister's Continent - it's by Gina Frangello (and this is her first novel that I know of, which blows my mind). It takes Freud's work Dora, and turns it on its head. It's about a set of identical twins in their early 20's living in Chicago. One twin is returning home defeated - a back injury has essentially killed her promising ballet career. She has a particular affinity for pain. The other twin is having horrible stomach problems before her impending marriage to her frat-guy college boyfriend. Everyone assumes these problems are psychological.
This is one of the first modern (and by this I mean written in the past few years... maybe I mean POSTmodern??) books I've read dealing with female sexuality that isn't on some level insulting or patronizing - these are dark, complicated, unapologetic characters. The language is spectacular. There is also a mystery of sorts to solve, because you discover through a letter at the beginning of the book that one of the twins has disappeared, and the other is looking for her. Each character is desperately trying to deal with his/her own odd psychosis, and therapy sessons are prominently featured. Some of the scenes were distinctly unpleasant. But the book won't get out of my head, which I suppose means I need to read it again.
Every review I've read compares it to The Thin Place, by Kathryn Davis (the book I was looking up when I discovered this one instead). That will probably be the next book I buy when I'm no longer broke. I've got to hand it to Amazon.com's "if you bought this book, you'll probably like..." recommendations. I have to wonder how many other fantastic books are out there, published by independent presses, that I have no clue about because I just haven't stumbled across them. You used to be able to trust Barnes and Noble's "Discover New Writers" program, but now it's mostly lame-sounding gimmicky fiction. Of course, every book I've read since My Sister's Continent seems lame and gimmicky... that's what's dangerous about reading good books.

A Tiny Sip of Absinthe

2006-05-16T15:51:00.000-05:00

I have not a clue what I'm going to end up posting here; I'll be as surprised as anyone else, I guess. I started this because I don't want any Tom, Dick, and Harry on MySpace reading my blog, and "any Tom, Dick, and Harry" applies to a lot of ppl in my friend list. Maybe a lot of ppl will end up reading this. Maybe none. Whatever - I'll figure it out. I'm so weird about the internet, anyway - posting pictures of myself and loved ones or talking about deep, dark, private secrets seems so wrong (and screams, "Hey world - look at me and my drama!!"). It seems as though there really is no such thing as a secret anymore. Ten years ago, you'd get a spiral perm, slick it into a really high ponytail, and go on Jerry Springer to air your dirty laundry (has it really been 10 YEARS?). Now you go on Survivor, the Real World, America's Next Top Model, or, if you're a washed-up celebrity, the Surreal Life to show the world how lame you are.
At the moment, I'm trying to figure out what to really dig into to write about. I'm talking fiction here - not public internet postings. My long-term project is on sabbatical, apparently, and I'm ready to put it aside for a couple of months and start with something entirely new. I thought about some sort of juicy expose of the town where I live, but what would really be the point? How is it in any way interesting that people have affairs, take lots of drugs, and spend vulgar amounts of money on crown molding? People do that everywhere.
It will come to me. Something usually does.
Arbitrary and irrelevant item of the day: my poor, awesome, long-suffering cell phone is on its last leg. It holds a charge of about 2 days (used to be 5), and is banged up beyond recognition. The other night, I dropped it, and it fell into 4 separate pieces. Right after I picked up all the pieces, my dad called, and after finding the right piece that was ringing, I talked for 5 minutes, afraid the whole time that I was going to get some sort of low-voltage electrical shock.
We'll see how long Hillary can hold out (I named my phone Hillary when I got her)...